down on the farm

took the kids to pa dutch country last weekend for some wholesome summer fun. it was the first ever Cousins Meet up. :o) we had a great time. it was much less hassle than the beach(no wet, sandy swimsuits, no carting gear to and from the beach etc) and the kids absolutely LOVED staying on a real farm. m loved the tractors. k loved the kittens and the chickens..and j just loved RUNNING! the kid was seriously crazy with the running. the farm was a 100 acre playground for sure. we'll definitely be back....

da bes da bo durls

that's right. j learned a new song... and it isnt a nursery rhyme. it's the theme song to Hannah Montana. :o) i had no idea he ever even really heard the song since we dont watch the show-but m often watches the show that is on prior to HM so apparently my little songbird was all ears the few times we've left the tv on during the opening credits.

we were in the store the other day. there was no music on and i swore i heard "da bes da bo durls" coming from the stroller. i kept thinking, "what song is that?"...then the next morning, while the kids were eating breakfast i heard the first few notes of the song and saw j's reaction just as the chorus came up and he joined in ....

funny. the kid is 21 months old. he knows maybe 100 words -tops-but can SING the theme song to a Disney show!

we survived

another family vacation at the beach! despite one sicky baby who ended up with a 104 fever in the er...

the rest of the trip was great. good time was had by all...and even our little diva-who hates the sand and getting splashed ended up LOVING the beach! Just dont get any sand on her!

Headed to the beach!

why
does
it
take
4
days
to pack
for
a
three day
vacation
?

car is loaded. no room to spare. kids are next
then
three days at the beach!

4th of July

July 4th, 2008. Came and went. Picnic with family. Good time had by all. And most of all, M overcame his INTENSE fear of FIREWORKS! Poor boy. He has tossed and turned, fretted and cried over fireworks for two years...ever since he first saw a very small display of them just after he turned 2 yrs old. Seriously. It was his OBSESSION. Even in the dead of winter he would bring up the topic and immediately get flustered, furrowed brow and all. But by the end of the day, the kid was HOLDING a sparkler and smiling with pride! It was definitely a moment. Small potatoes and a rite of passage for many kids as they grow up. Holding a sparkler on Independence Day. BIG MILESTONE IN OUR HOUSE! way to go M! I am really proud of you!!!!

THIS is why i should not have real pets

So, this morning i was hanging here with the babies. M was sleeping over at my parents house so it was just me and the twins. We had been up early and the dynamic duo was a little on the cranky side. Needless to say, by 8am it was already shaping up to be a long day!
I decided to cordon them off in the living room and take a quick (and i mean QUICK) shower. I gave them each a juice box and turned on Little Einsteins..and hopped in the tub. I was in there MAYBE 4 - 5 mins tops. I was toweling off when i heard the distinct sounds of someone opening the top of the hermit crab cage. Now, this cage sits atop a chest that is about 4 feet tall...and the twins are all of 33-34 inches tops...so i RUSH OUT to see what is going on.

To my horror, i see miss K, standing tip toe on the arm of the love seat....leaning as far as she can...one arm bracing her weight and one arm stretched into the cage with a crab in her hand.
I gasped and K got scared, so she dropped the crab. I rushed over and got her down-before she fell and cracked her head. (she is a total daredevil!). I brushed her off and took her to the kitchen to purell and wash her hands. On the way back into the living room i noticed the Blue hermit crab (the one we call Lady) on the ground...crawling away. So, i scooped it up...gave it a quick once over and dropped it back into the cage. Only, when i put it IN the cage...i do a real fast count of the crabs and realise, there are only 4 crabs in there and we have FIVE crabs!

So, i start looking under the chest, around the chest....IN the chest and nothing. I put the babies in their cribs to keep them outta the way and scour the whole room. I am on my knees...looking under the baseboards...moving furniture. NOTHING. I dumped the toybox ....NOTHING. NOTHING? NOTHING!!!!!!!

I was sad that the little crab would die a horrible death of dehydration (or possibly had been pulled apart by chubbly little toddler hands already)....but i was even more sad that the little critter was SURE to STINK after death...as that is what i keep seeing/reading about with these crabs. I HAD TO FIND THIS THING!

I turned the love seat over...nothing. I flipped the couch...nothing. I checked in the kitchen-thinking maybe the kids would have tossed it over the gate....nope. kitchen was empty. no crab.

Finally, AN HOUR LATER.....I decide to recheck the love seat since that was the chair K had been standing on and the chair J was sitting in when i came out of the shower. I started pulling out the lining from the bottom first. NOTHING. I place the chair back where it was supposed to be and sat down ready to give up. THen, for whatever reason, i felt my hand around the cushions....and LO AND BEHOLD...between the cushion and the lining...

THE MISSING CRAB....
Who was fine and well, and definitely not stinky!


SOOOO many lessons learned.
And i am definitely shying away from any pets for this family!!!!!

dear m

dear m

today was your last day of your first year at preschool. you have had an amazing year... when you started, i had no idea what to expect. would you cry at drop off every day? would you make friends? would you be a good listener? would you ever be fully potty trained????

as the year has drawn to a close-i have found you really matured over the last 9 months. it has definitely not been an easy year (outside of school) for you-yet you have done beautifully in your class. you never once gave me a hard time at drop off. every day we got there and you walked right into the class room. you knew all of the kids by name-even knew what kind of cars their parents drove with in weeks of school starting. you were invited on playdates and to birthday parties... you refer to all of the other kids as your friends or in some cases, your buddies. :o) you learned the entire alphabet-by sight and sound. you know 3 digit numbers by sight and the other day in the car i heard you count to EIGHTY! you still love books and got to enjoy reading a lot of new stories in your class. your teachers were wonderful, patient ladies who always planned fun activities for you to try/songs to teach you etc. many days you would come home singing a new song to k and j in the car.

you have come so far in such a short amount of time. you amaze me all of the time with your abilities-and all that you can do at just four years old.

so, my sweet boy...even though you and i spend a good deal of the day at odds over freshness and temper tantrums, let me take this opportunity to let you know that you have made mommy very proud!

i love you!

Sat May 10th 2008

Busy day. Jack's 3rd bday party. Kasey's Jr Prom. Patrick's 15th bday. Kids had fun. here are a few pics ....

The next right thing...

I went to my first AA meeting with S a few nites ago. I had been wanting to check out an AA meeting for a while but didnt want to intrude on S's newfound turf so i have put it off. I figured if he was actually extending the invite then he must be ok with sharing it with me and i jumped at the chance.

The format of the meeting was very much the same as Al Anon. Main speaker. Program. Open discussion. The overall "feel" of the meeting was much more...intense? I hesitate to use that word since it kind of brings about a negative connotation...but i assure you it was intensity in a good way. The room was FULL of people. Men/Women. Old timers/new comers. Some in sweats/some in work attire..even one gentleman in a tuxedo. Definitely a diverse group brought together on one equal playing field for the hour and a half long meeting. One by one, they shared. And the stories shared were not of hopelessness or shame. Not of apology or regret.
The comonality in each story was that each person was striving to do "the next right thing" in their life.

The next right thing.
I had never heard that expression before, but latched onto it immediately. Imagine if EVERYONE adopted that as their motto in life. Going day to day trying to do only RIGHT things?

The possibilites each of us would have would be endless.

It seems so simple to say.
It seems, when you hear it repeated by a roomfull of people, easy to do.

Just get thru each day trying for it.
Striving for it. Praying for it. Wishing for it.

DOING IT.

so talented!

Tonite was Parent's Nite at M's school. Classroom was filled with art projects, storybooks created by students, photos of kids at play. There was a dvd playing in the back room of M's class...so we stopped to take a look. It was the kids in his class each showing off a talent. For instance, one cute little boy stands before the camera and says, "My name is Samuel. I can do a summersault." then the camera pans back and you see little Samuel summersault his little heart out. Next kid says, "My name is Maya. I can hop on one foot..." You see cute little Maya jump up and down on one foot. On and on until M's cute little face pop up on the screen.

My name is M---- and i can do the shocked face!

and he does.

A true -open mouth- shocked to the core face!

Then he giggles and it fades out.

For those of you who are not familiar with this particular talent (i am figuring 99% of anyone who ever might see this blog are not familiar with what this is...) it's a face we try to get K to make at home to entertain us. "K. Let's see your shocked face..." and bam. there it is.

Funny that he thought that was a true talent!
I Love that little boy!!!!!!

mmmm cheesecake

so
is it
wrong
to
be
eating
cheese cake
and
watching
THE
BIGGEST LOSER???

:o)

baby babble

All that talk about Michael's vocabulary last week got me to thinking about the twins and their current state of speaking. They definitely blow their big brother out of the water for this age..heck, they blow a lot of 2 yrs old out of the water. So I sat down and made a list of the words they each use regularly...Just to preserve this little moment in time.

J's Words:
What's This? (said all run together-whatsthis?)
Bops (for Doodle Bops)
uh-oh
ho ho ho
kiss
Caillou
nite nite (i love how you say this-you get SO excited and say NIGH NIGH!!)
hi
stuck (so funny when you think you are stuck you just yell, "STUCK")
quack
choo choo (you say it SHA SHA)
car
beep beep
bye
cracker
cookie
more
kitty
meow
woof
hot dog
fries
stinky (you say "stiiiiiink-dede)
what? (wha??)
mama
dada
Barney
Elmo (you say MELMO)
Jo Jo
Manny (for Handy Manny)
Baby (you also call K BAY-BEEE)
grandpa (um-pa)
ball
hat
five five five (you say it like that)
low low low (there is a song with that as the chorus)
star
butterfly (you say "fly?")
my (mine)
nose

K's WORDs
what's that? (whazda?)
kitty
meow
quack quack
moo
baaa
woof woof
sssh (you put your little finger up and do the sssssh)
cracker
cookie
mama
dada (you say it for daddy, jordan and anytime the phone rings!)
shoe
ba (ball)
hat
beep
choochoo
bye (you say it like a southern belle...Bah-byeee)
uh oh
Bops
Good Girl (this was your first word!)
ho ho ho
juice
mo (more)
grandpa (buh-pa)
BASEBALL/BASKETBALL (Ba-ball!!! you say it all excitedly!)
baby

Four Years ago tonite...

I was waiting.

Waiting for my turn to hold MY baby.
Waiting for the snuggles. The smiles. The giggles and the wiggles. The mishchief and the fun.

It hadn't yet begun.

Four years ago tonite...

I went to bed thinking, "when is this kid coming out, already?"...not knowing that i would be a mom by the time i went to bed the next day.

I had no idea how much my world was about to change. How my concept of love was so limited..


Four years ago tonite.

FOUR YEARS???

holy cow.

My BABY BOY is turning FOUR tomorrow!

Brooming, Macella and the Camboose

Just a few of the things i want to remember M saying.

He was late to talk, this boy of mine. We'd sit and read him books. Point out familiar objects. Sing him songs and still only a handful of words at 18 months. Slowly he added to his vocabulary (as most kids do) and its grown now into sentences filled with words that sometimes i am surprised he even knows the meaning of. Things like "interesting" or "actually"...used appropriately!

As proud as i am for all the words that he knows, i am still in love with the few words he still mixes up or mispronounces. He says Brooming for sweeping. He calls the Acella train the Macella..and a caboose a "Camboose". He once in a while will say he is "hidening"..when we play hide and seek. (that is a favorite of mine! "mom i'm hidening. come find me"...) He calls Burger King- King Burger and Toilet paper has occasionally been called Paper Toilet. Oh, and his newest is a strange but cute one. He calls the dash in a phone number a "crumb"...555 -crumb- 1212. I have no idea where he got that word, but he is 100% sure that is what the dash is called!

This little boy is turning 4 this week! FOUR! and he's learned so many words.
But by far the best thing he says (at least to date) is when he puts his arms around me and says "i can love you if you want!"

3/28

i just looked at the calendar. it is 3/28...
2 yrs ago today was the day i found out i was having TWINS! I remember finding out i was having 2 babies AND going on immediate bedrest/home nursing care just a few mins later and how i was so scared and freaking out about having to take care of M too who was a week shy of 2 yrs old. Funny how at the time it seemed like such a huge BURDEN! ack. When i think of it now, it makes perfect sense....i was growing TWO HUMAN BEINGS and the sacrifices were small potatoes. it seemed like such a long time (2 1/2 months on midline catheter meds/in bed 24 hours a day....) but when i think of it now, seems like it flew by....and now i have my beautiful 17 month old holy terrors!

crazy!

zzzzzzzzzz

S*L*E*E*P

I just cant get my schedule to allow enough time for this hot commidity! Especially this week. From the time i got up on Friday morning (7am) until I went to bed last nite at 10p...i had only managed to get a combined ELEVEN HOURS of sleep! Between a crazy weekend at work and a sick Baby K (complete with 2 visits to the pediatrician and pharmacy waiting for various perscriptions)..and normal weekend activities SLEEP was pretty much a bust!

Tried to catch up last nite but both babies seemed to have different ideas. J was up a few times and then K was up after that. {sigh} Guess that's what you sign up for when you have kids.

Must be why God supplied the earth with COFFEE. had to make sure there was a natural supply of caffine around to keep parents functioning!


:o)

at the stars

Something reminded me of this long forgotten song recently...It was never a hit, but I love the lyrics. Reminds me of being 18. Which makes me happy and sad all at the same time.

Maybe I should drop you at your door
Or leave tonite and vanish up the shore
Anywhere but here

It's 3 o'clock we're driving in your car
You're screamin out the window at the stars
"Please dont drive me home"

Blame us cuz we are who we are
Hate us cuz you'll never get that far
And who'd suppose that you would go?
I've already learned enough to know

Tell me all the places we could go
And count the headlights passing on the road
A
Long
Long
Time
Ago

Blame us cuz we are who we are
Hate us cuz you'll never get that far
And who'd suppose that you would go?
I've already learned enough to know..

Here we are foreign to their world
Straight and composed,
(your sermons i could do without)
And I finally found out that
every body
loves to love you
when
youre
far
away

Could it be we've done something wrong?
We make it home to your place before dawn

"please dont drive me home"

"PLEASE DONT TAKE ME HOME"

:o)

Snow Day

The H kids love them some winter!

sick kiddos

Oh so tired.

Can Type No More.
Except
This:

You have not truly become a parent until you sleep 6 -fitful- hours, cramped into a toddler sized car bed with 3 yr old knees in your ribs and the smell of vicks permeating the air.


More Later.

A

Dear S

Dear S
Welcome Home. You have no idea how i have been waiting for this day to come! Three long months...now complete! I am so proud of you for taking that huge step and getting the help you needed for so, so long! You seem stronger. Happier. Less broken... I am so happy you have found some peace in your soul. The kids and I are looking forward to a fresh, new chapter in our lives.

Please dont screw it up.

Love Always,

A

but Mom, i AM the hairdresser

Ok. So It's a blurry picture..The kid just couldnt stand still. Must have been the excitement of having given himself his very first haircut! Yes. That's right. He cut the center portion of his bangs right down to the nub...AND for good measure, cut a nice chunk out of the top too.

It all happened on Grandma's watch. (yes, i think she learned a valuable baby sitting lesson here!)

When we went to the salon to get it fixed, the hairdresser actually GASPED when he sat down in the chair. She did an AWESOME job of disguising it with a cute little crew cut...spiked up in the front to hide the damage that she -in all her years of hair dressing- had never seen before.

Oh well. I am just thankful he cut his OWN hair and not K's hair. I fear she just isnt ready for the G.I Jane/shaved head look yet!

:o)

Another Day...another meltdown?

Well, Just when i think i am feeling better....

I went to Al Anon this morning. I can really only get to this one meeting a week but after 4 weeks i really feel ok about going AND sharing. (which is weird b/c normally any kind of public speaking would freak me out...) The past 3 weeks, when it was my turn to share--it was no problem. Today, the topic was "what the 1st step (aa step) means to me"...the first step is "Admitting we are powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable". So, they go around the room and everyone gets to share their experience/opinion. It's really fortunate that my meeting is mostly people who have been going for YEARS...so i get the benefit of hearing how far they have come and how they are happy/healthier now for having stayed in the program so long. When it was my turn...i went to speak--and i just started BAWLING. (and i have to tell you, I HATE TO CRY..ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS!!!). Instead of feeling that "oh i hate this" feeling....people looking and i am crying for no 'good' reason..........i was immediately greeted with 22 people standing at my side with comforting words and encouragement. It was so unexpected that i had broken down out of no where...but even more unexpected was the reaction that i got....they GOT IT. THEY UNDERSTOOD IT. AND they CARED. it was crazy. Of course, I felt instantly better. I guess i just had to break down and ADMIT that my life was unmanageable....(not due to my actions but the circumstance and all...). I mean, i KNOW things were bad and 'out of control' ..but i dont think i have said it OUTLOUD with any kind of admitting...and it obviously caught me off gaurd.

I have a feeling that some day, i may look back on today and think, "that was the moment it all changed"....FOR THE BETTER!

oh sheeet!

My baby son said his first curse word today! He's only 15 months old..and says barely 20 words..now one of them is a curse word! Oh why, do they always pick up on the ONE word they shouldnt repeat??? I had been gathering laundry, bent down to pick up a wayward sock and ended up dropping 1/2 the pile. The word just kind of slippppppped out. And all of 2 seconds later from the other side of the room i hear, "sssssheeeeeet" "ssssheeeet"....

Definitely not my crowning moment of motherhood glory!

My name is Alison G

A few weeks ago i went to my first Al Anon meeting. I was not sure what to expect and had put it off for a while. I guess i had a fear that it was either a bunch of depressed people sitting around thinking "why me", or worse "poor me".... OR a bunch of people who were way worse off than me who would think, "you are in the wrong place". I was pleasantly surprised to see i was wrong on both guesses. The only meeting i can regularly attend without making major adjustments to an already crazy childcare schedule happens to be on Tuesday mornings at 10 am. I am not sure if it immediately jumps out at you, but if you have ever gone anywhere at 10am on a Tuesday morning, the majority of the people out at that hour are either moms with little kids OR elderly people. Let's just say the median age of the group i dropped in on was probably about 60-65. BUT, that aside, the group was extremely welcoming and ...sweet. There were about thirty women there. They have all been working the program for quite a while and i was the only new comer that week so i definitely stuck out. It didnt matter though, they were "gentle" and let me observe. They gave me a cup of coffee, a few pamphlets, several hugs and something i did not expect: HOPE. I know it sounds 'cheesey' to say that, but it is true. After just one meeting, a big burden had been lifted off of me. These ladies -old or not- GOT IT. They have been there done that..and moved on.

On that first day, one of the Welcome Wagon ladies handed me a little packet with a few pamplet type books inside. I have read them several times since (as the messages can be read over and over with new meaning found each time). This morning, as i was showering (my really only quiet time during any given day...) I had a mini revalation. One of the biggest steps to work on is letting your higher power guide you...and trusting in it. It's funny. Because as i was thinking that thought, i flashed to a visit we had last year to 6 Glags. I was on a ride with my three yr old son. It was a little jeep that rode alone one of those steel guide-tracks. You can "steer" but really cant go off track as the guide will keep you from going more than a few inches either side.
My son, M, was in the drivers seat. And as most three yr olds will do, he was way over steering. The car of course, was banging side to side. THe more he would try to control it, the more out of control/bumpy it would get and the more frustrated he would get. I told him if he sat back a little and just let the car drive itself, then it would be easier. He did and he instantly smiled--relaxed and enjoyed the ride.
I had the thought today that, maybe, that is what i have been doing in my life. Trying to drive and steer and be in control, over and over getting myself all worked up when all along all i had to do was sit back and let this higher power take control. It was the same way my son was trying to steer over and over and over still getting the same result b/c there was absolutely NO WAY he was ever going to control that vehicle no more than i was ever going to be able to control the "wild ride" i was on.
I am not sure any of that makes sense. But for a few mins in the shower, it sure did. It made me realise that this "higher power" has me on the track i am supposed to be on .....maybe someday-SOON- i can learn to sit back and enjoy the ride!

Breaking the seal....

When 2007 began and all the talk was about "resolutions" that first week of the new year, i naievely resolved to keep a journal of the year. I imagined little anecdotes about the kids, or venting about stressful work days or some chaotic event du jour. Before i knew it, January had become February and that slipped into March...(you see where this is going....). By November, I just gave up on the idea and figured i would just hold off until THIS year and try again.
So, here it is, nearly the end of January 2008--but the year is still new enough (and lord knows there is definitely enough anecdotes, work stresses and chaos to fill some pages!) and i am vowing to at least TRY to make a go of it.

We shall see what happens!