at the stars

Something reminded me of this long forgotten song recently...It was never a hit, but I love the lyrics. Reminds me of being 18. Which makes me happy and sad all at the same time.

Maybe I should drop you at your door
Or leave tonite and vanish up the shore
Anywhere but here

It's 3 o'clock we're driving in your car
You're screamin out the window at the stars
"Please dont drive me home"

Blame us cuz we are who we are
Hate us cuz you'll never get that far
And who'd suppose that you would go?
I've already learned enough to know

Tell me all the places we could go
And count the headlights passing on the road
A
Long
Long
Time
Ago

Blame us cuz we are who we are
Hate us cuz you'll never get that far
And who'd suppose that you would go?
I've already learned enough to know..

Here we are foreign to their world
Straight and composed,
(your sermons i could do without)
And I finally found out that
every body
loves to love you
when
youre
far
away

Could it be we've done something wrong?
We make it home to your place before dawn

"please dont drive me home"

"PLEASE DONT TAKE ME HOME"

:o)

Snow Day

The H kids love them some winter!

sick kiddos

Oh so tired.

Can Type No More.
Except
This:

You have not truly become a parent until you sleep 6 -fitful- hours, cramped into a toddler sized car bed with 3 yr old knees in your ribs and the smell of vicks permeating the air.


More Later.

A

Dear S

Dear S
Welcome Home. You have no idea how i have been waiting for this day to come! Three long months...now complete! I am so proud of you for taking that huge step and getting the help you needed for so, so long! You seem stronger. Happier. Less broken... I am so happy you have found some peace in your soul. The kids and I are looking forward to a fresh, new chapter in our lives.

Please dont screw it up.

Love Always,

A

but Mom, i AM the hairdresser

Ok. So It's a blurry picture..The kid just couldnt stand still. Must have been the excitement of having given himself his very first haircut! Yes. That's right. He cut the center portion of his bangs right down to the nub...AND for good measure, cut a nice chunk out of the top too.

It all happened on Grandma's watch. (yes, i think she learned a valuable baby sitting lesson here!)

When we went to the salon to get it fixed, the hairdresser actually GASPED when he sat down in the chair. She did an AWESOME job of disguising it with a cute little crew cut...spiked up in the front to hide the damage that she -in all her years of hair dressing- had never seen before.

Oh well. I am just thankful he cut his OWN hair and not K's hair. I fear she just isnt ready for the G.I Jane/shaved head look yet!

:o)

Another Day...another meltdown?

Well, Just when i think i am feeling better....

I went to Al Anon this morning. I can really only get to this one meeting a week but after 4 weeks i really feel ok about going AND sharing. (which is weird b/c normally any kind of public speaking would freak me out...) The past 3 weeks, when it was my turn to share--it was no problem. Today, the topic was "what the 1st step (aa step) means to me"...the first step is "Admitting we are powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable". So, they go around the room and everyone gets to share their experience/opinion. It's really fortunate that my meeting is mostly people who have been going for YEARS...so i get the benefit of hearing how far they have come and how they are happy/healthier now for having stayed in the program so long. When it was my turn...i went to speak--and i just started BAWLING. (and i have to tell you, I HATE TO CRY..ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS!!!). Instead of feeling that "oh i hate this" feeling....people looking and i am crying for no 'good' reason..........i was immediately greeted with 22 people standing at my side with comforting words and encouragement. It was so unexpected that i had broken down out of no where...but even more unexpected was the reaction that i got....they GOT IT. THEY UNDERSTOOD IT. AND they CARED. it was crazy. Of course, I felt instantly better. I guess i just had to break down and ADMIT that my life was unmanageable....(not due to my actions but the circumstance and all...). I mean, i KNOW things were bad and 'out of control' ..but i dont think i have said it OUTLOUD with any kind of admitting...and it obviously caught me off gaurd.

I have a feeling that some day, i may look back on today and think, "that was the moment it all changed"....FOR THE BETTER!

oh sheeet!

My baby son said his first curse word today! He's only 15 months old..and says barely 20 words..now one of them is a curse word! Oh why, do they always pick up on the ONE word they shouldnt repeat??? I had been gathering laundry, bent down to pick up a wayward sock and ended up dropping 1/2 the pile. The word just kind of slippppppped out. And all of 2 seconds later from the other side of the room i hear, "sssssheeeeeet" "ssssheeeet"....

Definitely not my crowning moment of motherhood glory!